Words are powerful. We often forget what an impact words can have. Not only when we communicate with others, but also what impact words have on ourselves.
Unfortunately most of us grow up hearing No more than we hear Yes..
When I’m feeling negative towards life I noticed for example, often I start my sentences with no, and my body and mind feel tense, irritated and angry. From becoming aware of how this affects me, I now consciously say yes to everything. It was hard at first, as I sometimes had to let go of my ego and will and surrender to the moment, and to be honest it felt fake, but the more I started saying yes, I started feeling lighter, more open to life and myself. After a while practicing, these waves of gratitude started to swell up in me. It was like my energy of saying yes drew like minded spirits to me and that felt good.
It’s also important saying yes does not mean approving of bad behavior or angry thoughts. We also are not saying yes to external circumstances that can hurt us. It’s also not a version of “positive thinking” or to not accept the reality of how hard life can be. We also do not say yes to someone treating us badly, but even in these instances where unpleasant things happen, we can still say yes to our experience of fear, anger or hurt that we feel. Saying yes is an inner practice of accepting and allowing our thoughts and feelings to come and go. Saying yes is not to cover over what we really feel, nor a way to manipulate our experience, but a tool to open up and see life the way it is.
With saying yes I also realized you can’t say yes, and have a frown on your face..by saying yes our body also needs to say yes. Sometimes I position myself in an open manner, facing the experience or person with a smile on my face, even if I have to force myself to do it. It’s not that I’m faking my smile or feelings, it's more of training my conditions, actions, behavior and thoughts, to get in line with my body and heart.
Have you ever said yes when you mean no, or no when you mean yes?
It’s very important to become aware of when this happens, because that is not giving your authentic self the honesty it deserves. There are times where saying yes can trigger us and it could bring us too much fear at once, so you have to be careful and find a balance of when it’s too much for you. It’s a practice of acceptance, and of listening to your body and heart. There is something liberating about our entire imperfect and messy life, and you start to realize your life is just fine the way it is. If we can accept imperfection and expect and surrender to the messiness of life, we can live a meaningful and joyful life.
Today’s Assignment:
Sit in a comfortable position and close your eyes. Think of a current situation that made you upset or angry. The more you think of this situation, the more you will get in touch with your feelings in your heart and body. When you feel the strongest about a particular part in your experience, start by saying No to what you feel. Feel the fear, anger, shame or grief. Push all that away and feel the resistance in your body, and to your feelings.
After this, start again but say Yes to the painful feelings, say Yes to whatever thoughts or feelings that come up. What happens to the unpleasantness when you say Yes?
What happens to our body and heart when we say Yes?
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