Why do we feel we need to control everything? To feel we are powerful and strong, or we are afraid of the feeling of not being enough? I find control only directs us to a feeling of not being in control even more. Control is also very close to fear and being afraid of failing or not making the best out of a situation. The more we try to control, the more out of control we get, so why force the nature of just doing your best and then let it go.. The only thing we really can control is ourselves and our reaction to things that unfold in life. I understand there are so many things in life that are out of control and human nature is to fix things, but do we really need to control it to fix it..It truly is an illusion to think we can control anything in this world. And when we control something we take away the truth of what we are trying to control. None of us want to be controlled either. The feeling we get when someone is trying to control us, is awful. Sometimes we don’t even know we are trying to control a situation or someone until the situation or the person let’s you know the hard way. For example if you ask someone something that you would like to have happen and you ask it more than once, aren’t you trying to control it? I’m trying to be super aware of when I do this, and also not judge to try to control the outcome.
I believe we want to have the feeling of control to feel safe and not to express fear and vulnerability because we've been taught if we are not in control, we are not worth anything and that is our biggest inherent fear we have. The fear is so strong that it takes us over to be able to have any coherent understanding of reality. We get lost in our fear. This need to control is often true in families where there was a constant unpredictability and there was never a safe space to be able to trust. Growing up in an unsafe environment emotionally and possibly physically, makes it harder not only to trust yourself, but also developing trust in others.To surrender is a skill and a trust in yourself and the unknown. I had an incredibly hard time with surrender and trusting the unknown. I wanted to control every single outcome in my life so I can feel safe. For me it also had to do with acceptance that things will fail in life, and I can’t be a superwoman in every detail of my life, and that is ok!
Today’s Assignment:
When something goes a against you today, practice saying
- I trust you.
- I hear you.
- It's ok for me not to resolve this.
Or you can say the serenity prayer:
“ Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, The courage to change the things I can & the wisdom to know the difference.”
Thank you for visiting my blog! Are you ready to create your new lifestyle check out my Lifestyle Coaching page. Or if you love photography check out Story’s In Nature section!
Leave a comment below if you like!
Featured
