I remember when I was little and needed things instantly to be satisfied. When I got upset, nothing mattered around me, my emotions took over and patience was not an option or a choice. When I look back, I realize that I wasn’t patient enough with myself - so things around me often escalated to anger and frustration. My parents never gave me the tools I needed to learn patience or to calm myself down. Most children are given the basics such as food and shelter, but what about the importance of sociological and emotional skills?
By being given everything outside of our inner self, or not understanding humanity, we believe this is the way life was supposed to be. Everything is focused on instant gratification and everything inside of ourselves gets pushed away. We either get ridiculed, controlled or ignored and then we are asked to be patient..and when I couldn't, my parents got angry.
Most of the time patience doesn’t come into our lives until we are adults and when we realize things in life take time, and we can’t expect to get things instantly, or get everything we want, we push until we get what we want. Sometimes we really get tested when it’s something we need to feel at peace with. For example when my mom died, I knew I needed to wait in order to heal, which was very hard.
Is lack of patience coming from a deep sense of loss of being acknowledged, or is society pushing us to the immediate need for satisfaction, which in turn creates difficulty in being patient?
Patience also teaches us we are not in control and there is something bigger than us out there that helps us with patience. I always thought I had too much patience and often waited too long to actually express my needs, but I realize now I gave too much of myself, and then was called selfish and that is certainly not patience with myself.. A child feels this immediate need to have things right away because they only see one choice, when we as adults we learn there are many roads to take.
Strong emotions that can’t be controlled..How do we learn patience early without trying to control the outcome, or ignore our emotions?
Working with children as long as I have, and not having my own, really have taught me alot about patience. There were times where I didn’t know what to do to calm the children, and on the ride home felt really bad for not having the tools and reacting the same way my parents did to me. It took some thinking and really being open and patient with myself to try to remember how I felt when I was a child, and what I really needed instead of needing instant gratification. Much of it was anger for not being able to calm myself down, but also remembering some of the bad experiences my parents couldn’t give that got me both angry and impatient.
So how do we find that balance between patience and our boundaries to others and ourselves.. How can we have patience without thinking we need to compromise our boundaries and emotions.. Where does impatience and restlessness come from, and how do we rewire ourselves to make peace within ourselves and make deliberate and wise decisions in this chaotic world.. When unexpected events like Covid happened for example, we all were forced to change our ways quickly, physically and mentally. It put tremendous stress on our society as a whole, and patience to ourselves others. Things change in our surroundings all the time and practicing patience is one of the hardest things to learn.
Today’s Assignment;
Listen to your body and mind and try to be patient with yourself and others. Think of a time where you needed to be patient when you were growing up and how that was received.
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