Lately I have been thinking about our belief systems and how we all create belief systems to support our decisions and keep us safe. We’ve been doing it since the day we were born. Belief systems can form the foundation for our lives. Maybe you grew up in a dysfunctional home; it’s pretty common to believe that “the world isn’t a safe place.” But that primal belief (that protected us as children) can also be the very thing that stops us from progressing in life—it’s preventing us from having what we want most.
Of course all these beliefs we have about ourselves or others are often illusions but when life constantly sends us triggers that remind us of relationships we had in our childhood or our past it’s hard to differentiate what is the trigger from the past and how to act in a situation we are experiencing now. Maybe our father or mother didn't give us what we needed at the time, and we developed a belief that we maybe weren’t good enough. Many times how we dealt with it then, is how we deal with it now in our relationships. For example, I never got the affirmations and emotional needs from both my parents as a child, and I created ways to keep peace at home and many times disregarded my true feelings. In return in my adult life I thought this was the way to resolve conflicts but also to receive love and affection from any people in my life - again disregarding my own needs..
If we start to take a close look at ourselves and admit there are things we believe about others, that we do ourselves we can see and be aware of what needs to be attended to. After realizing this I knew I needed to develop new ways to both see what good things came out of my parents being unavailable, but also accept that they did what they could with what tools they had, and I don’t need to compromise my own needs in order to be loved and acknowledged. These emotions and beliefs can be very deep rooted and hard to accept and change. Most of the time, they’re completely unconscious. That’s why they’re so hard to change.
I still run up against my belief systems but have a much easier to see when it’s something from my past, and how to work on making the change. I used to need to control everything and wasn’t able to take paths and make decisions towards what I really wanted. I also got depressed and didn’t know why. False beliefs were also the sole reason I wasn’t able to get what I wanted the most. Sometimes they even sneak up on you, when you thought you were done with them. I am working on embracing life more, have courage to move past my fears, and be open and trust the unknown without that strong primal belief of not feeling safe. The truth is to practice compassion and acceptance to ourselves, and not control our minds believing we only need to feel good, in order to be happy. Life will always have parts that we don’t want, or we can’t control.
One way that helped release those deep rooted beliefs was to meditate & practice yoga.
Today’s Assignment:
Today when your beliefs try to penetrate into your mind thinking you will not be able to move past your fears, write down one sentence and say it out loud. For example:
- I will not believe what my mind is telling me today. I will only believe I’m capable of achieving what I want!
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