You can’t feel loneliness without having felt separation. I believe we feel lonely and therefore separated and disconnected because we are dealing with negative parts of ourselves that are conflicted. We are trying to connect what’s outside of ourselves instead of becoming conscious of the many parts of ourselves we have on the inside that need to be mended. When we have conflictions of separation within ourselves it’s often being mirrored in our external environment. After a while when we don’t understand why we feel empty, we start distancing ourselves from other people and experiences and we feel even more separated inside. To fix this feeling of loneliness and separation, we may have to take a look at things inside of ourselves. I used to complain about the technology of today’s society, and other people not being present and their lack of time, but I believe we need to pay attention and become aware of our inner self and not be dependent on others or external gratification. Moving away from the reality and unpredictable things around us makes us feel even more disconnected and lonely..To look at ourselves and become friends with both the dark and positive side of ourselves takes time and a lot of courage.
For example, why is it that we can feel lonely in a room full of people and it doesn’t seem to matter how many people and things we do, that can make us feel less lonely? Before we start soothing this feeling of discontent with things that just sooth us temporarily, I encourage us to sit with it for a while, and go deeper than just the surface of ourselves.
Since Covid hit there has been more feeling of separation than ever and the way we connect has changed dramatically. As much as we were forced to adapt, we can’t let the change of relating to one another make us forget we are human, and physical contact and connection is one of the biggest needs we humans have. We need to not only support each other and be gentle to ourselves, but also start becoming aware of how we connect to the world and our environment. We may think feeling separated from society and isolated makes us not have to deal with society and getting hurt, but isn’t that just putting a bandaid on a deeper issue that needs to be resolved..
When I feel lonely it’s important for me to know I’m not alone, and many times I just think that makes me feel better. I believe we all need human connection to be able accept and surrender to life's difficulties.
With all the expectations on us daily we can easily get lost, and help others or focus on the universal problems of healing, instead of integrating new ways of feeling better inside ourselves.
Todays’ Assignment:
When you get a chance to sit down during your busy day, think of when was the first time you felt separated and alone. Then ask yourself, what do you do to avoid thinking about it? Listen to your inner thoughts without judgements.
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